Tuesday, July 12, 2011

why is the young white generation so socially awkward?

I can't speak for the adolescent and early twenties white kids out there. But I can speak for the fairly youngish white folks of my generation. Or at least those I've encountered in New York. Maybe other places are different. Or maybe I'm biased against them. Who knows. But I have found that a lot of late 20ish, early 30ish, white people are either rude or very socially awkward.

The office space that my company rents and the NYC subway system both have provided me the evidence on which I base my observations.

First space, my office. My company rents an office in Brooklyn. The office is a shared space called "Green Desk". Green Desk is a brilliant idea because they take a large space and divide it up using glass walls to make smaller work spaces of various sizes. They rent these out to small businesses and also to individuals who freelance or run their own companies and have extra money to throw around on space that isn't their bedroom. These spaces are much cheaper than most office space you can find, and come completely furnished with internet and a copier and all that...blah blah I'm boring myself now. I get a little excited when I think about my nice little green desk office because for 2 years my company had no office space of our own here. No mailing address, no storage space, nothing to call our own. We existed on the good will of the agencies we served, and I'm not one who likes to operate on the whims and goodwill of others. But I digress.
The company has two buildings in DUMBO and one in Downtown Brooklyn. My coworker and I chose the Downtown Brooklyn location because the DUMBO space was too far from the courts and also too hipster. Plus it was older and more crowded than the downtown location. Again, maybe I am biased against hipster-y types and didn't give it a chance.
Anyway, my office space has a pretty good mix of people, from young to older, with lots of different professions represented. I'm not sure what everyone does in my building, but there are quite a few attorneys, some small accounting firms, some small call centers and sales-types jobs, some freelance creative-type jobs, real estate people, and some internet businesses.
This being New York, there is also a mix of people, many different races, religions, etc. To illustrate my point about the social awkwardness or rudeness of the younger white, I will provide two identical scenarios (which are true and happened) but featuring two people of different races.

The typical white encounter at my office goes like this: I walk towards the tiny kitchen, which consists of a single wall with a small counter, sink and a full-size refrigerator on the end. I smile and attempt to make eye contact with the white person, who is either pouring coffee or filling a water bottle. I will say hello or good morning. The white person will not make eye contact, will not return the greeting with one of his or her own, and will not even acknowledge that anything was verbal was exchanged between the two of us. The white person will shuffle around for a bit and then awkwardly leave without making eye contact.

The typical encounter with a black person at my office goes like this: I walk up to the kitchen. I smile and make eye contact with the black person. The black person is either getting coffee or filling up their water bottle. I say a greeting, either hello or good morning. The black person will return my eye contact and return my greeting. We will engage in small pleasantries concerning the weather or the state of the coffee at the office. Once the black person is finished, her or she will usually say "have a good one", and leave without awkwardness.

UPDATE: I wrote the above paragraphs last week. Just yesterday, some white dude comes into the kitchen while I'm rinsing out my coffee mug and stands right behind me with a fork that he's waiting to wash. He doesn't say hi, acknowledge me, or anything. Just stands about 6 inches away from me holding a fork. When I turn around to leave he doesn't even make eye contact and shoves his fork under the faucet. WTF?

UPDATE: Today while I microwaved my lunch, I witnessed an awkward encounter involving a black woman and a white woman who both needed to use the water filter. No eye contact was made, no greetings were exchanged, and the situation was quite awkward. So there are exceptions to the stereotype.

My subway experience stems from the fact that when disabled people, pregnant people, or elderly people get on the train, it is usually a younger black or Latino man who gets up to offer their seat, or a woman. I have rarely seen a white man get up to offer their seat. These other people may beat them to it, who knows. I could be biased against whitey.

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